


θανατάω

by disgruntled_lesbian



Series: but i can fight [a collection of zagreus centric ficlets] [1]
Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hades Video Game Canon Typical Temporary Death, Trauma, a whole lot of feelings about the trauma and pain inflicted by death defied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:35:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disgruntled_lesbian/pseuds/disgruntled_lesbian
Summary: zagreus will never get used to the pain of defying death, has no idea what rest feels like anymore[a collection of zagreus-centered character exploration oneshots]
Series: but i can fight [a collection of zagreus centric ficlets] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139672
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	θανατάω

**Author's Note:**

> θανατάω, desire to die
> 
> notes at the end

zagreus will never get used to defying death —

it’s not quite like washing up on the stairs of the house. alive, lungs desperate for air as he drags his aching, bruised body down the hall where he drips water and blood on the carpet, past hypnos, past achilles, _his father_. pretending to be fine, pretending that being thrown back to his father’s house doesn’t feel like the worst possible defeat. 

it’s — 

well, it’s —

piercing, all consuming agony that steals his breath away. unable to scream as he’s pulled back to life, his body unwilling but unable to refuse the command. the snap of his spine reforming from pulverized bone, the stinging pain of skin growing too fast, fingers untwisting, teeth pushing their way through his gums, the stomach turning sight of watching his guts abandoned on the floor, his body ravaged by a never ending pain that won’t leave him until he’s returned to the river styx to float in oblivion for a moment — 

he barely breathes, lungs still half crushed, as he dodges the attacks of the wretched thugs, desperately trying to regain his footing. 

this is a dance they’ve done before on his father’s command, and he can’t help but think about the next _and the next and the next and the next_ \--

and it’s done. 

he falls to his knees the moment he yells his acceptance of mount olympus’ message, praying that he has a moment to breathe before lady athena finds him, a moment of rest. 

malphon abandoned, he presses his feverish forehead to the cool ground, barely resisting the urge to curl up on the cold stones and sleep — he cannot rest in the house, and he cannot rest here, never able to be still. 

_“look at you, zagreus_ —” lady athena says, her visage kneeling by him, the comforting glow surrounding her breaks through the cold and brings a little warmth to zagreus. he feels deep shame, showing how badly he has managed so far. _“you’re barely fit to fight from all the injury that you’ve sustained!”_ she reaches a hand out, and he’s never been more grateful that none of the olympians can touch him, holding onto life by a single thread, he thinks he’d fall apart at the first gentle touch. _“i’ll try to keep you going for as long as possible.”_

her boon courses through his veins, and he can feel the tremors wracking his body as she vanishes, as he drags his broken body through the door to the next room to fling himself at everything tartarus has to offer. 

he has done all of this before, and he will do it again. 

_“... you’re running from yourself. though, i can slow you down a bit, i think.”_

**Author's Note:**

> a lot of feelings about the narrative potential of game mechanics. 
> 
> violence warnings for descriptions of the body piecing itself back together
> 
> all dialogue is from the game. i'm only half way through so far but omg this game, y'all


End file.
